Movie remakes seem to have become an all too
common trend as of late, it's practically an epidemic.. Just since
1997, there have been remakes of films from all genres including House
On Haunted Hill, Thirteen Ghosts, Ocean's Eleven, The Time Machine, The
Mummy, The Count of Monte Cristo, Planet of the Apes, Shaft, Get Carter,
Dawn of the Dead, The Thomas Crown Affair, Godzilla, The Ring, Psycho,
House of Wax, The Fog, Assault On Precinct 13, King Kong, The Texas Chain
Saw Massacre, When A Stranger Calls, War of the Worlds, The Poseidon Adventure,
The Omen, & The Hills Have Eyes. That's a whole damn lot of films,
and I know there have been probably twice as many in that period of time.
Not to mention more are on the way all the time. I must agree that
Hollywood has lost any originality it once had, and remaking old films
seems to be their main attraction these days. I would have to say
that most remakes are either unnecessary, or just down right bad.
I saw Gus Van Sant's shot-for-shot remake of Psycho, and it was
just unimpressive. Though, there have been some exceptional horror
remakes over the years including John Carpenter's The Thing, the
1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the 1999 Dark Castle
remake of William Castle's House On Haunted Hill, David Cronenberg's
undisputed classic The Fly, and Alexandre Aja's Wes Craven produced
remake of The Hills Have Eyes. Unless you have something new
to offer in a remake, or intend to build upon elements in the original
- there's very little reason to go ahead with it. The best way to
ensure such a thing is to remake films that, over the course of time, have
lost something pertinent, or were just plain bad from the get-go.
That's what this article is gonna focus on - horror movies of the past
that deserve or could benefit from a modern remake. There will be
some stinkers here, and some that may be objectionable to some - no one's
gonna agree on everyone of these eight choices of mine. Though, this
first one is hard to contend with....
POTENTIAL REMAKE #1
"HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF
THE WITCH"
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For many, this is the most reviled entry in the Halloween
franchise, and rightfully so. The production values are poor, the
story is a little bizarre, the acting is only decent, the effects are as
low budget as you could get, the score is lackluster and drab for Carpenter
& Howarth, and the direction is bland. Still, with a generous
budget, a competent director, an updated rewrite on the script, modern
visual effects, and a talented cast, this could be a winner, or at least
a contender.
Obviously, you wouldn't call it Halloween III, and even the subtitle
Season
of the Witch is somewhat irrelevant to the story. I don't know
what would be an appropriate title, but remaking titles isn't what this
is about. As for a list of potential directors, I would nominate
Don Coscarelli, William Malone, or John Carpenter. All three have
done supernatural horror before, and done it well. Coscarelli has
delved deeper into the mixing of the horror, science ficition, and fantasy
genres with the
Phantasm
films, Malone did a wonderfully chilling
job with the House On Haunted Hill remake, and Carpenter's done
numerous films in that subgenre including
The Fog, Prince of Darkness,
and In The Mouth of Madness. Carpenter would be the most logical
choice because moving the franchise into a completely different direction
was his idea, and he was the producer of the original which was directed
by Tommy Lee Wallace (who also wrote the script). Coscarelli can
turn even the most bizarre concept into a killer movie - he's done it his
entire career - and he could pull this off with no problems. Imagine
Angus Scrimm taking over Dan O'Herlihy's part as the evil Cochrane, but
maybe that's a bit too expected. I believe the lead of Dr. Daniel
Challis wasn't hit just right, but Tom Atkins did a fine job, though.
You'd need someone in his mid-to-late thirties for this role, but unfortuantely,
I can't come up with any casting ideas. I suppose the role, as it
was written, is too non-specific, and no one kind of actor jumps out at
me. Though, where the music is concerned, I wouldn't mind having
Alan Howarth back (if he could deliver something better), or bring in Danny
Lux. Halloween: Resurrection might not have been worth much more
than one or two viewings, but Lux's score was very powerful and dramatic
- I own the score on CD!
The script could use some polishing up. Either change the entire
Stonehedge element, or flesh out more backstory so things make more sense.
Nothing wrong with fantasy elements, but treat them with some history.
Cochrane's explanation of motives is good, but allowing us to understand
how he's doing what he's doing would enhance the film in ways you couldn't
imagine. Cochrane himself just never seemed evil enough to me.
Yes, he has purely evil intentions, but he himself didn't come off as evil
incarnate. I'd imagine he would be much angrier seeing as how Halloween
had been made a mockery of over the centuries, and he is taking revenge
on that. He required more menace for he himself to be feared outright.
Thinking of Cochrane in such a way instantly brings up Angus Scrimm because
of The Tall Man, but also Christopher Walken or Christopher Lee could really
embody that sort of character. The script could also give some more
character traits to Dr. Daniel Challis. That's really what the original
lacked - depth of character and backstory - and is what should be worked
on for a remake.
All in all, I believe that what was Halloween III: Season of the
Witch could be reworked and remade into a very effective horror film
that wouldn't at all look cheap, and certainly wouldn't be nearly as cheesy
- if at all. Coscarelli might retain some humor and focus on the
fantastical aspects of the story if he directed whereas Malone and Carpenter
would probably keep any potential humor to a minimum and focus on tension
and terror. Though, Carpenter is not above intentional cheesiness,
but Malone would certainly deliver a solid and true horror film.
I truly doubt that this film will ever get remade simply because almost
nobody really gives a damn about it, and would rather forget about its
existence rather than shove it back into people's faces with a remake despite
the likelihood of such a remake having nothing to do with the Halloween
franchise. But one can imagine what could be, and to me, this sounds
like a good idea. |
POTENTIAL REMAKE #2
"FRIDAY THE 13TH"
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Oh yeah, I hear you screaming "BLASPHEMY," but hear me out.
Now, if you've read my review of this film, I have a lot of negative marks
against it - Cunningham's direction is mundane and unimaginative, the story
is too simple, there's very little in the first half of the film to keep
the audience interested or invested in it, and despite how legendary the
climax is, the chase sequence is very simplistic especially when compared
to the chases in many of the sequels. Manfredini's score, while I'm
not a real fan of his style, does deliver what it's meant to deliver -
shocks, tension, and jumps. There are a few fans, such as the Pit
of Horror's Royce Freeman and Timberwolf's Tim Whitfield, who attempted
to do a fan film remake some years ago entitled Long Night At Camp Blood,
but it was scrapped to persue more lucrative avenues of microbudget movie
making. I never read the script, but it was to intermix elements
from the first two Friday The 13th films, but let's simply stay
on target.
In a bygone era, I might've nominated Steve Miner to helm a remake since
Friday
The 13th, Part 2 delivered so much more than the original film, but
he's very much drifted away from the horror genre and his last slasher
outing was Halloween: H20 which I despise greatly for numerous reasons.
Of the modern era horror genre filmmakers, I solely endorse Alexandre Aja!
This just might be me reeling from the wake of his remake of The Hills
Have Eyes, but goddamn, he did an absolutely wicked, bad ass job with
it. The intensity was high, the shock factor was cranked up, the
terror was all there, and there was no holding back on gore. Aja
has all the tools and the talent to make a great horror film, and I would
be ecstatic to see his take on the original
Friday The 13th.
In my original writing of this article, while it was still a work in progress,
I suggested Marcus Nispel, James Wong, or Gregory Hoblit. In retrospect,
it was me grasping at straws, trying to see who could capitalize on the
various elements in the story. Nispel seemed a right choice based
on TCM '03, but Aja's Hills remake blows that film out of the water!
James Wong seemed good because of his
X-Files past, and he's now
even directing a remake of Black Christmas. Though, after
seeing Final Destination 3, I don't have that much confidence in
his abilities, and early reviews of his Black Christmas remake are
quite negative. Gregory Hoblit - I really don't know why I picked
him. Probably just based on the mystery aspects of the F13 story,
but nothing more. Alexandre Aja has proven to me that he is a modern
master of horror cinema, and I would fully embrace him for this job.
As far as cating goes, I would ban the inclusion of all the hot teen
stars of the day, and try to discover unknown talent that has potential.
For Mrs. Voorhees, we don't want someone who's a movie star, but a real
actress with some credible work behind her. I would nominate Olivia
Hussey. She was the female lead in Black Christmas, and subsequently,
she played Norman Bates' mother in the telemovie Psycho IV: The Beginning.
She can have both a beautiful, loving look, but can also look quite villianous
and sinister. Plus, she's about the same age now that Betsy Palmer
was when she did Friday The 13th! I believe Olivia could deliver
a chilling and demented performance just as Betsy did, and make it as memorable.
As for Alice Hardy, if you want another redhead - which I have a fondness
for - I can nominate Alicia Witt. Yeah, I only saw her in the terribly
ineffective Urban Legend (which I'll get to later), but she plays
a very good heroine. Though, as I said, I believe it would be better
to have a cast of quality unknowns here, but still, studios like to have
some kind of fairly recognizable name to draw audiences in. As for
the score - I would have no problem with Manfredini returning (if he dumped
the snyth scoring), or perhaps Fred Mollin taking over for his mentor.
On the topic of special effects - no CGI! This is a simple stalk
n' slash deal as far as effects go, and what could be done with practical
effects 25 years ago with amazing results could be done even easier now
in the same way with the same great results! Bringing in KNB EFX
Group would be the only choice here! They can get the job done with
masterful results. Maybe they'll be some touching up via digital
technology, but we don't need people getting stabbed, impaled, and slashed
with a CGI machete! It just cheeses up the look of the film whereas
practical effects add to the realism of it. KNB did amazing work
on Aja's The Hills Have Eyes (among dozens of other films), and
they appear to only get better with every film they work on.
The final point to wrestle over is that the Friday The 13th films
have become synonomous with Jason Voorhees, and doing a remake of the original
which does not feature Jason as the killer would truly hurt the box office
where the general movie-going public is concerned. Hardcore slasher
fans wouldn't mind because they know the original quite well, and not having
Jason wouldn't be a negative. Though, people who see the title Friday
The 13th will automatically think Jason Voorhees, and when they don't
see Jason as the killer, they'll be bewildered and confused (possibly pissed
off, disappointed, etc.). You might be able to make Jason the killer,
but who's going to explain the full backstory and motive? Jason doesn't
speak, and unless you do a whole dialogue like Paul Holt does in Friday
The 13th, Part 2, no one's gonna understand why he's killing everyone.
Though, I'm sure a talented and creative screenwriter could conjure up
a clever way to execute this idea. Also, revealing Jason as the killer
would throw the fans completely. I even heard ideas of having Jason's
father Elias as the killer, and so, there would be many ways to go with
this - making the ending very interesting for everyone.
So, in conclusion, if you get an imaginative screenwriter with a love
for the subgenre and even the series itself, you could have a much more
compelling story told with possible new twists to the tale. Putting
the amazing Alexandre Aja in the director's seat would make this one powerhouse
of a horror film. We Friday fans LOVE the gore factor of these
films, and yes, it IS still possible to make Jason Voorhees (or Pamela
Voorhees) scary again. It's all in the presentation and execution
that makes it scary or not. Whatever plans New Line Cinema might
have (or had) for restarting this franchise is unknown to me, but if this
article happens to get seen by someone at New Line or Platinum Dunes, I
hope they take some notes from it. |
POTENTIAL REMAKE #3
"WARLOCK"
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This was a pretty decent film for its time, but
suffered from an insufficient budget and a lack of scares and gore.
Steve Miner was directing from a script by David Twohy. This really
was the last horror movie for Miner for quite some time, but Twohy hadn't
yet hit his prime. Though, there's some great things in this film.
Julian Sands pretty much found an iconic role here, and he plays it to
perfection. Richard Grant as Redferne was a wonderful hero that was
out-of-time and out-of-place. Though, the character retained a warmth
and heart that would normally be traded for some gruff bad ass hero like
"Snake" Plissken or Terminator's Kyle Reese, but with the Warlock
being such a richly sadistic character, a truly warm-hearted and moral
hero was required. With these two characters / cast members, the
film really shines, but there's a lot of rough parts. The special
effects were poor even for the day. The film was made in 1989, and
we had already seen amazing SFX in films such as Aliens, Predator, and
The Terminator - which stands as a sort of template for the story of
this film (two time travellers, one good, one evil, and a perilous California
girl caught in the middle as the fate of the world hangs in the balance).
The film is short on genuine scares and serious gore. The inferior
sequel featured far more gore and was possibly more scary, but the cast
and story lacked heavily.
For a remake, I would suggest ONLY David Twohy directing an updated
version of his original script. With Pitch Black & The Chronicles
of Riddick, Twohy's proven to me that he can deliver genuine horror
and visceral gore - not to mention, he can direct one HELL of a movie when
given the chance. I wouldn't mind having Julian Sands back since
he made the role of the Warlock so his own. I just don't believe
anyone else could execute that role nearly as well as he did. Not
only did he put in a deliciously rich performance, but he had the perfect
look - the look of an angel with a sadistic smile to boot. Sands
was just born to play this role, and man, did he bring it to wonderfully
rich life. Now, recasting Redferne is extremely difficult.
Finding someone around the age of 30 with a gruff look, but able to portray
a heroic character that's held so close to morality and has a heart of
gold and can do an English accent seems quite uncommon. Sands still
looks quite well for his age, and still has those golden locks. Grant
certainly looks his age at nearly 50, and I don't feel that age fits well
with the character. Perhaps the highly talented and well-received
Jim Caveziel could pull it off? I thought he was the perfect choice
for the new Superman, and Redferne isn't too far off from the character
of Superman (take away the superpowers, give him a British accent, and
scruff him up a bit). Caveziel continually proves his worth as an
actor in every role he takes on, and perhaps he could show that again here.
It's a few too many years too late to tie this story into some kind
of millennium apocalypse senario (a la End of Days), but the original
didn't need it, and neither does a remake. In an updated script,
perhaps Kassandra could be someone more intelligent, more capable, but
she can still be in peril. Having her believe she can handle any
situation that comes around, and then, being confronted with a powerful
warlock who can do unspeakable harm to her without laying a finger on her
would be very intriguing. She needn't be anything like a cop, but
just a strong woman that's physically capable of defending herself.
There are many women out there that can adequately defend themselves against
an assailant, and so, this would be a nice way to update the character.
Plus, the kind of character Kassandra was in the original was very 80s
like, and would seem a little too cliché and satrical these days.
All in all, with David Twohy at the helm, I believe he would put together
a solid and entertaining cast with an effective script. The special
effects would be absolutely amazing, and Warlock could become a
thrilling rollercoaster ride of horror, scares, and perhaps a bit of humor
(which was present in the original). Give the man the proper R rated
cut, and let him go wild with this premise. It could become a far
more entertaining and well-rounded horror / fantasy film. |
POTENTIAL REMAKE #4
"URBAN LEGEND"
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Here's a monument of missed opportunities. What comes
across as a clever idea on paper boiled down to nothing but a homicidal
revenge tale. And while female serial killers certainly have proven
effective with Friday The 13th and certain other films, it simply
did not come off very striking here. The entire film rather lacks
edge and was just another "hip slasher" cashing in on the trend started
with Scream. What this film could've been was something more
along the lines of Se7en where the serial killer is has an obsessive
compulsive disorder in regards to urban legends to truly a sick degree.
The revenge tale could and should still be there as motive, but more of
the catalyst for the killer's obsession. What this story can't boil
down into is an axe massacre - it can't diverge from its premise just to
increase its body count. With an obsessive compulsive disorder, this
killer would be forced by his own psyche to never break from his pattern.
It's a vice that could and probably would lead to his downfall, unable
to change his methods for better or worse. On the whole, this film
just needed a stronger foundation. It should've been more viseral,
and have a stronger sense of madness from the killer. I believe all
this lied within the script and the director.
The cast is greatly chosen. The parts that were at the forefront
were portrayed by fine young actors, and I have no need to change them
unless the reworked script called for it. My main problem is the
lack of actual suspense and terror in this film, and that can only be blamed
on the director. Jamie Blanks didn't do much before this movie, and
even less after it. His talent for the horror genre just is non-existent.
Who I would choose to direct this film? On first instinct, I'd say
David Fincher, but that's just not quite right. The man's already
been down this road, and has obviously made a point for each of his films
be very different from the other where the premise is concerned.
Taking into considering the genre we're focused on heee, I would choose
Marcus Nispel. Whatever your feelings on his remake of The Texas
Chainsaw Massacre, you have to agree that he showed a talent for intense,
viseral horror with that film. I think he could amp up the intensity
with this film, and create a much more interesting killer. Getting
the correct scriptwriter on board to make this concept reach its highest
potential and making the story more than a one-dimensional slasher is just
as important.
I don't think this was very strong entry for potential remakes, but
I feel that the entire urban legend idea had a whole lot of potential that
wasn't utilized correctly with this film (or either of its two increasingly
worse sequels). So, it would be best to just go back and redo the
original, and redo it the best way possible. And even if the concept
fell short again, Nispel would at least have given us something with more
punch than Jamie Blanks did. |
POTENTIAL REMAKE #5
"WHEN A STRANGER CALLS"
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Wrangle that thought back for a second. Yes, this has been remade,
but I didn't need to see it to know that it was a piece of trash.
From all accounts, it was just poor all around. Trying to stretch
the first ten minutes of the original into a full 90 minute movie just
doesn't work. How this premise best works is as a short film, but
we're talking feature length films here. So, how can we salvage the
rest of the film? The ending is a good reprise, but the main body
of the film is very boring and tedious. The entirely wrong approach
was taken in the original film, and should've been crafted towards a different
story.
First off, the start of the film should remain completely untouched!
It was perfect the way it was in the original, and shouldn't tinkered with.
Also, cast a sympathetic and vulnerable female lead like Carol Kane was.
What we change is when the story jumps ahead a few years. Simply
put, our killer, Curt Duncan, could only be mentally ill to do what he
had done, and so, I rather view him escaping from a mental hospital (much
like in
Halloween). But something that would set this apart
from Carpenter's classic is a few thngs beyond the "pure evil incarnate"
Dr. Loomis prophet of doom foreboding. Also, the suspense would stem
more from his stalking of Carol Kane and her children than some masked
man offing teenagers. Yes, forget following Duncan around the city,
stopping in bars, trying to pick up a woman, and evading a fat cop.
It's utterly boring, and holds no potential. I'd like having a different
sort of detective in the mix this time trying to protect Jill and her family
as well as attempting to track down this escaped killer. I know,
it still sounds much like
Halloween, but the approach would be different.
There's no All Hallows Eve atmosphere, and it boils down to a suspenseful
thriller than a slasher flick. It's more psychological terror than
visceral horror. And to preserve the ending of the original, Duncan
could be believed either dead or captured (the latter being better, in
my honest opinion), but then, he goes back to finish off Jill. In
a tense finale, the detective races back to Jill's house while Duncan closes
in on his deranged homicidal goal. It would all end in something
I believe would be more satisfying than what the original movie achieved
overall.
My sole choice for a director is Gary Fleder (Kiss The Girls, Runaway
Jury). He has proven to be a very capable and talented director.
Fleder can really wrap up mystery and suspense very well. He can
create an intelligent thriller, give it character, and make it powerful.
He's worked with some great, legendary actors in Morgan Freeman, Gene Hackman,
and Dustin Hoffman. So, there is no doubt Gary Fleder knows how to
harness great talent, and utilize it to its fullest potential. He
can also make a great script work to a level of excellence.
Wrap it up, and call it a hit. I feel this angle on a remake of
this film has a better potential for success than what was released in
February, 2006. It also matures the story from a run-of-the-mill
popcorn movie thriller to a tense and respectable crime thriller.
With a director that knows how to utilize the talent at his disposal, and
how to craft a well conceived drama, this sounds like a superior film to
what we've seen so far. |
POTENTIAL REMAKE #6
"ARMY OF DARKNESS"
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Okay, here's another one you're freaking out about, but give me a chance.
The Evil Dead series started out as pure grizzling horror gore fest
with a touch of dark comedy, but deeply decended into slapstick comedy
with each following entry. Ultimately,
Army of Darkness was
not a horror film, but a funny fantasy adventure film like Monty Python.
There was such a missed opportunity by making this movie into an epic undead
horror adventure film like combining Indiana Jones with, well, The Evil
Dead. Probably the Helms Deep battle in The Lord of the Rings:
The Two Towers would be the best example of what I have in mind for
the climax. So, here's my remake pitch for this one.
First off, you really restrain the humor. It's good to have it,
but don't have it dominant the film. Secondly, make the deadites
into the most horrific, gruesome bastards possible. I'm not saying
make them look like Orces from LOTR, but take what was used in other Evil
Dead films, and make it look a bit more genuinely horrific. I
also think that walking skeletons are too cheesy, and aren't really frightening.
So, we forget about them here. I know CGI would be inevitable with
the scale of this film. I'm talking about hundreds of deadites, maybe
more. Just a terrifying army of evil marching down on Arthur's castle,
and Ash having to lead the way against it. Make that battle majorly
epic. Have it so that it seems like our heroes have no chance of
winning, and in fact come on the brink of defeat. Basically, follow
the same plot, but induce a larger scale and more horror than there is
humor.
Of course, you keep Bruce Campbell, Embeth Davidtz, and even Richard
Grove as "Henry the Red." Though, I never felt that Lord Arthur or
Wiseman John were very impressive. For Lord Arthur, I believe Karl
Urban could really bring some strength and weight to that role. I've
loved him in every role I've seen him in, and he's a great dramatic actor.
He could really make Arthur an authority figure, a nice counter-balance
to Ash's unique egotistical personality. Wiseman John, I think, should
be cast with Alan Rickman. He has a very good balance between drama
and levity. Plus, he's British, and that natural accent would do
much to enhance the medieval England setting - something I felt Raimi's
film lacked. Yeah, Rickman's played a wizard before, but he's also
played a German criminal mastermind, an angel, Rasputin, and a ton of other
things - soon you run out of roles. But anyway, I think that does
well for the cast.
In terms of the director? Sam Raimi is a good director, but I
still have negative marks against him - especially in his need to inject
so many poorly conceived comedic moments. I hated Spider-Man 2,
and so, you can see where I'm coming from. IN regards to that film,
I'll just say, "raindrops." So, my idea is to get a director with
a good sense of action, horror, and danger with a good handle on humorous
moments. This'll hit you from an odd angle, but John McTiernan.
My justification? Predator. Horrific gore, awesome action
sequences, fantastic sense of character and dialogue, a nice sprinkle of
humor, great drama, and definitely chilling suspense and terror.
McTiernan has everything it would take to make
Army of Darkness
a bad ass action-horror film with a great array of characters. McTiernan
also made The Thirteen Warrior which is much in the vein of what
I have in mind - chilling inhuman savages, a medieval style setting, and
grizzly battles. McTiernan would prove perfect for this task.
Also, while you're at it, get KNB EFX Group back into this because they're
better now than ever before! Also, Joseph LoDuca had a wonderful
score here with an added piece by Danny Elfman - keep it all.
If you were to put all these elements together with a more horror-driven
script, it would be a smash blockbuster, I guarantee it. But there's
one final element to cap this whole thing off - the post-apocalyptic ending.
It's the ending I prefer for Army of Darkness, and would be a GREAT
ending for such a hard-hitting film. This kind of ending has worked
to excellent effect in many John Carpenter films like Halloween, Prince
of Darkness, In The Mouth of Madness, & The Thing. No one
should be afraid to use it because it makes for an unforgettable ending. |
POTENTIAL REMAKE #7
"FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL
NIGHTMARE"
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I don't believe I have ever seen a worse potential
end to a franchise than this. Freddy's Dead was made before
New Line acquired the rights to the Friday The 13th franchise (thus
allowing Freddy vs. Jason), and so, they very much intended this
to be "the final nightmare." What we got was bad comedy upon bad
comedy with cartoony effects and rubber makeup. A total disgrace
to a franchise that began with a bonafide and genuinely frightening horror
classic. Freddy Krueger is just there to make stupid grade school
one-liners and get killed by a pipe bomb. After all the various ways
they've temporarily defeated Freddy throughout five previous films, they
resort to a pipe bomb?! Disgraceful, totally.
I find nothing wrong with the cast or plot, but there's a lot of stupid
things in here. Roseanne & Tom Arnold gotta go like avoiding
the plague! I understand the entire idea that Freddy has wiped out
the children population of Springwood, but this is handled in such a cartoonish
fashion that this plot point is begging to be ignored. The entire
execution needs an overhaul. Freddy needs to be put back in a dark
place where he is truly villianous, and not made into a joke. Freddy
Krueger was a killer of children, and it has also been hinted at that he
was even worse than that. This is a wholly dispicable individual,
and he should be treated as such. It's ballsy for a studio to complete
villify their franchse star, but that's what is best for the film.
Furthermore, the dream death sequences need to be dark and frightening,
not cartoony and goofy. Freddy's meant to be at his most powerful
here, and he should demonstrate that with making the deaths more violent
than before. Also, the ending needs a serious revamp. Dump
the 3D glasses gimmick, dump the "arming up" bullshit, and for the love
of all that's good in cinema, forget about the damn pipe bomb! Personally,
if Freddy has become more powerful than ever, I'd like to see the surprise
twist of him actually having powers in the real world. That would
make the end battle more perilless, interesting, and ultimately, force
it to be more creative in destroying Freddy. How that would be?
I'm not certain, but with a GOOD screenwriter with a thorough knowledge
of the franchise, I imagine something satisfying could be created.
Possibly, Freddy's powers have grown to the point where he's able to trap
his own daughter in the dream world, and the only way for her to escape
is to destroy him by whatever means. Whatever the case, this film
requires something far more climactic and dare I say epic to make sure
Freddy is dead.
So, who would be called on to director this darker, truly horror-driven
film? I know many would come right out and say Wes Craven, and while
yes, he is a good director, he's had some missteps. He's done things
in Shocker that are practically the same as the cartoonish sequences
in Freddy's Dead, and I couldn't guarantee that it wouldn't happen
again. New Nightmare is great, but still lacks something more.
For something as genuinely frightening and dark as I am imagining (as well
as somewhat psychologically twisted), the only director that comes to mind
is David Fincher, but frankly, I don't think you'd ever get him to do a
slasher film. Next best thing? The master of macabre horror
- Clive Barker. His drecting credits aren't long, but he's made some
great films. Hellraiser & Lord of Illusions among the
best. From interviews, Barker seems to have a very good handle on
Krueger, among other slasher icons, and I believe that he could create
a version of this film that truly is filled with horror and a frightening
monster named Freddy Krueger. From the email interview I had with
Robert Englund back in 2003, he always felt that Freddy should be dark,
but a lot of the directors liked the comedy aspects of the character just
to make him more marketable. So, I feel that Englund could work well
with Barker, and together, could create a Freddy's Dead that would
give the true send-off the character has always deserved. |
POTENTIAL REMAKE #8
"PHANTASM"
OFFICIAL SITE
• IMDb SITE |
This is me supporting Don Coscarelli's defunct
plan to remake the Phantasm franchise as it was meant to be.
Updated with modern effects, a proper budget, and follow the story Don
has been trying to complete for over 25 years! There have been a
lot of snags in development, budget problems, and studio intervention that
have damaged the product Coscarelli wanted to create. Four films
over twenty years, and he hasn't completed the story. Scripts get
pushed aside because no one will finance them. New Line Cinema was
making a deal to back this new Phantasm trilogy, but something fell
through at the last moment. Now, we're all still sitting here, eight
years after the release of the last film, Phantasm: Oblivion, awaiting
some kind of conclusion to the entire mess. This entry isn't me saying
what Coscarelli should do differently, what cast to assemble, or how he
should direct the film. I have always had confidence in what the
man has wanted to do with this story. He's created something exceptionally
unique blending science fiction, horror, fantasy, and humor into a successful
recipe. He's brought us wonderful characters like Reggie and the
Tall Man that capture our hearts and imagination. I would view the
Phantasm
legacy as the Star Wars saga for the horror genre. One visionary
director has backed it throughout its entire history, and has put a lot
of his heart and passion into it. The only major difference is that
Coscarelli can still write and direct an excellent movie whereas George
Lucas really only excells as a producer.
So, I still support Don Coscarelli's desire to remake the Phantasm
legacy in his original intended vision, but it seems like a failed endeavour.
No new talk of the trilogy has surfaced since the desolution of the New
Line Cinema deal, and nothing more on a fifth film to conclude the original
continuity. I can tell you that there are a LOT of Phantasm
fans out there that are hungry for another film, and whichever way it goes,
I will be anxious to see it. Hopefully, Don can raise enough interest
in another film to get the financial backing he requires, and make the
best possible Phantasm film of all-time! Until that day comes,
we can only sit and dwell on what could've been, or what might still be. |
| P A
R T I N G T H O U G H T S |
To round things out, notice that despite naming films from all the major
horror franchises, the only one from the Halloween franchise is
the one that does not concern Michael Myers or the main continuity at all.
I do not believe John Carpenter's Halloween requires or warrants
a remake. I do believe it has lost some of its effectiveness over
time, but I don't feel that anyone could make the film as well as Carpenter
did - let alone the unrefined non-horror filmmaker of Rob Zombie.
I could be biased on this topic being such a major fan of Carpenter's work,
but I will admit he has made some poor films (i.e. Village of the Damned,
Ghosts of Mars). Also, there are some bad Hellraiser films,
but the bad ones either have an unreleased, superior director's cut, or
just don't warrant a retread. The first two films were great, and
that's what most matters. Even with Clive Barker's involvement, it's
still a toss up on how much such a remake will be justified, ultimately.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is already spoken for, whether or not
you felt the remake was justified or even worthwhile. Unfortunately,
if the Alien vs. Predator sequel is also a steaming pile of manure,
I'm afraid that Twentieth Century Fox will attempt a remake of Alien
and/or Predator to jumpstart the name values of those franchises.
Neither film should ever come anywhere near the remake trend because they
are perfect films, and no remake could possibly improve upon them.
Same goes for the special editions of Aliens & Alien 3.
That's all I will speak on because I could continue on forever regarding
what films SHOULDN'T be remade (too many already have been). I'll
leave that for an "Unmaking Horror" article or what not.
Whatever the future holds for Hollywood-brand horror, I'm certain remakes
will be a part of it. There's a lot to be said for taking a film
that was either just trash to begin with, or has lost its value over time
and making it great in the modern day. I believe these are all fine
examples of such films. Will any of them ever get remade? I
really can't say, some sound like real long-shots (especially the sequels),
but I don't put anything past Hollywood trying to milk a few more bucks
out of name value alone. So, with those parting thoughts, I hope
this article has shown you that there is a good side to remakes, as long
as there's room enough for improvement on the original film. |